15 weeks (the story of our unexpected wonderful surprise)

lil' baby at almost 12 weeks

A few months ago I was talking to a friend about having another baby.

And how it wasn't such an easy thing for me to think about.

We desperately wanted Micha to have a sibling, 

but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle another round of fertility treatments with all the hopes and fears and disappointments and heartache.

ICSI of IVF or any form of fertility treatment is an exhausting emotional and psychical roller coaster,

and I just wasn't ready to go through it all again.

I wasn't sure when or if I ever would be.

We had made a decision to wait until Micha was at least two years old and then we'd see what we would do.

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But as we had learned while waiting for Micha, our plans are just that: our plans.

God had a very different plan in store for us.

With Micha he did and it turned out to be so good. (even though in the thick of it I thought he'd forgotten us.) And with this baby he did as well.

Here I was, worrying about our future, wondering if I would be able to get through another round of poking and prodding with no certain outcome, and then came the most wonderful and most unexpected surprise.

And though I'm certain God would have given us the strength to get through more treatments, just like he did before, I am so thankful that this time we didn't have to. 

No needles and hormones, no nerve wracking moments, just a spur of the moment pregnancy test.

So unexpected, but so longed for. Such a surprise, so very welcome!

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The first few days it felt so surreal, my controlling self needed to process.

Am I ready? Can we afford this? Silly questions, but also quite normal I think.

After the first ultrasound at 8 weeks we told our parents for the first time, something we never got to experience with Micha. Their reactions were priceless, I'll never forget.

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And here I am, 15 weeks (almost 16 weeks) pregnant,

my body is changing and my belly is growing.

Sometimes I even think I feel some slight movement and I am in awe.

I am in awe of my body for growing this baby,

in awe of life's beautiful surprises,

in awe of Gods unbelievable goodness.

A goodness that I don't deserve, but that I am so grateful for!

for comparisons sake, me at 15 weeks with Micha

Quick questions:

When are we due?

June 27th 2014, my sisters birthday. 

We feel so lucky to have this due date as B.'s summer holidays begin a week later. 

We had the same luck (blessing) with Micha and it was awesome to have B. around for six whole weeks!

Are we going to find out the gender?

Yes! We can't wait to find out! 

My next ultrasound will be when I'm about 20 weeks along and that will be the moment of truth!

Do we think we know the gender?

I have a feeling what it might be. 

With Micha I knew for sure that he was a boy, 

this time I'm not as sure about my feeling but we'll see. 

And no, I'm not telling you what I think it is.

Do we have names yet?

Yep, we have some favorites!

Home birth or Hospital?

Hopefully I'll be able to have a home birth like most women do here in Holland. 

With Micha that was the plan, but then my water broke and there were no contractions for quite a while, 

 so we ended up in the hospital (you can read the whole story here). 

I had a great experience in the hospital, so it won't be terribly disappointing if I end up there again 

(and then there's the pain medication, yay!)

 but I would love to have a home birth experience as well, 

and since watching 'The Business of being Born' I'm even more sure I can handle a medication free delivery!

Cravings?

I'm so much more nauseous and queasy than with Micha so I'm not craving that much, 

but when a craving hits it's usually for something sweet. Donuts! Cinnamon Rolls! Fruit! 

Have you seen my Pinterest food board lately? If you didn't know I was pregnant that board would be a dead giveaway!

Symptoms?

Nausea, fatigue, mood swings? Maybe you should ask B. about that last one ;). 

Does Micha understand?

I don't think he does, if I ask him what's in my belly he says 'baby', but that's just because we tell him.

I do want to pick up some books about babies and becoming a big brother at the library just to familiarize him with the whole idea. But I think he'll figure out what's happening when it happens. Poor little dude.

Love, Maria