a fall hike

Last week B. had fall vacation, a whole week of spending time together as a family!

The weather was beautiful all week, and one day we decided to go for a hike in a nearby forest.

//

B. carried Micha in the Beco, it had been a while since Micha had been strapped in like that and at first he was not having it. 

Luckily he decided he liked being carried and we were able to enjoy a fun little family hike. 

We stopped half way on a hill overlooking a herd of sheep grazing in the valley below. 

Their shepherd ( a girl!) was sitting close by drinking tea and reading a book while her dogs tended to the sheep. Isn't that the coolest job?

We ate a picnic of sandwiches and hot chocolate and when our bellies were full we carried on with our walk.

At the end of our hike we took a family picture on the same spot we took ours last year.

One of us has changed quite a bit!

2012          /         2013

I think we might make this an annual tradition.

We love hikes in the fall!


Love, Maria

our weekend // B.'s birthday

on B.'s birthday last year, I totally forgot to make photo's this year, oops...

On Sunday it was B's birthday, twenty-eight years old. 

(Yes, I'm six months older than my husband, what a cougar huh? )

He doesn't shop much for clothes and he desperately needed some new shoes, 

so on Saturday I took him out shopping for some new duds, as a birthday present. 

(a mans birthday dream I tell ya, ha!).

As a real Dutchie he hates paying full price for anything, and is always looking for a discount. 

Of course all the sales had just ended and we couldn't find anything in his unrealistic price range. 

I kept saying that it was his present and he didn't have to pay attention to prices, 

but the man is hard headed. 

On top of that we had Micha along who had decided to sleep in that morning (yay) but as a result hadn't had his morning nap (not so yay), and he was getting tired and grumpy and already had eaten both of his little boxes of raisins.

We finally headed home with a sweater, two white t-shirts and three bad moods.

It was a fun afternoon. (no, no it was not.)

^ ^ ^ ^

But after a nap(Micha), a successful shopping trip (B.) and baking birthday cakes (me) all of the bad moods had turned to good ones and that evening we had a blast having friends over for B.'s birthday. 

For the first time since pregnancy and baby I had more than two glasses of wine and went to bed at 2 a.m., you bet that I felt that the next morning. 

But being B.'s birthday and all I let him sleep in while I cleaned up the mess from the night before, 

wrapped presents, set the table for a special birthday breakfast, 

and tried to keep Micha quiet and entertained.

After breakfast we enjoyed a lovely, peaceful Sunday, with a beautiful church service, 

a long nap (all three of us) and a bike ride in the warm October sun. 

At the end of the day, while watching Breaking Bad (we're almost done!!!), 

B. told me how lucky and spoiled and loved he felt. 

B., Happy Birthday my love! 

You are the very best husband and papa we could ever wish for. 

You are a handsome man, you are a good man, and above all you are a man of God.

I love you for ever and ever!

Love, Maria

seven years

Seven years ago I woke up at my parents house with butterflies in my stomach. 

I had breakfast with my family but could hardly eat a bite.

I went to the hair salon and got a simple, beautiful updo and had my make up done.

When I got home my sister helped me into a beautiful white dress, made by my mama.

I put on my brand new, white strappy heels, 

wiped some make up off my face,( it was a tad overdone)

and then I waited.

The backyard was filling up with family and friends all dressed up in their Sunday best.

Everyone had arrived, but there was one person missing.

I stared out of the bedroom window and then I saw him,

my future husband.

I slowly made my way downstairs, opened the front door and there he was. 

He was so handsome in his dark brown suit and he looked at me with eyes full of wonder and excitement.

Today was our day.

We would head to the town hall and get married, 

have a service at church 

and that evening we would dance under the stars as husband and wife.

That day was so beautiful. 

But our life together,

with all the hard times and times of joy

has been more beautiful than we could have ever expected on that warm day in August seven years ago.

Love you, B.!

Maria  

our love story: part 1, part 2, part 3

One more day!

Yep, only one more day left and then we'll have B. all to ourselves for six weeks, we can't wait!

Oh, the life of teachers! (but the long vacations are WELL deserved!)

Love, Maria

Oh, to all of my American friends,
Happy Fourth of July!! 

Have a fun one!

And to my Canadian friends, sorry I forgot about Canada Day. 

How could I, eh? :) 

You know I love you!

He looks like us

One of the hardest parts during our infertility journey was the realization that we might never have a baby that  resembled us. 

My blue eyes and defined chin or B.'s dark hair and olive skin, 

my stubbornness or his precision, 

it would never be combined in a little human being we could call our own.

^ ^ ^ ^

I know that motherhood has little to do with genetics and DNA, 

it's not defined by that,

all there is really needed to become a family is LOVE. 

I truly believe that.

And to be honest, my vision of our future family changed over the course of time. 

I dreamed of holding a beautiful brown skinned baby, 

and I knew I would love him just as much as a baby with my own DNA, 

and I knew he would be mine and I would be his. 

We would be family, no matter if our genetics matched or not.

But still, there were moments when yet another treatment hadn't worked and the dream of pregnancy and motherhood seemed farther away than ever. 

In those moments I would feel a sense of loss and sadness that I would maybe never hold a baby that looked like me or his papa.

^ ^ ^ ^

But then our miracle happened, I got pregnant and gave birth to the most precious baby boy in the world.

And, boy, did he look like us. 

In the beginning he looked so much like his papa and now he's starting to resemble me more and more.

And his personality, I recognize so much of myself in him,  

his curiosity and mischievousness and his happy, (and yes) impatient demeanor. 

But also his papa's eye for detail (like being able to play with the wheels of his cars for quite a while)  and outgoing personality. 

It's all rolled into one perfect little package.

B. at 8 weeks, and Micha at 10 weeks

One year old me, and almost one year old Micha

It's just one of those things that makes me feel so, so blessed and grateful to be able to experience.

I can't believe my luck!

Love, Maria

linking up again with Casey today

a boy and his papa

^^Oh, these two handsome guys. They make my heart so very happy.^^

^ ^ ^ ^

There is something so special about seeing your husband as a papa. 

And let me tell you, B. is an exceptionally good one. 

Every day when he comes home from work he picks Micha up, gives him a big hug and plays with him, or reads him a book. 

Every single day, no matter how busy or hard it was, it's his time with his son, and it's beautiful.

I usually use that time to prepare dinner or do something for myself, 

but once in a while I just quietly sit a corner and watch my two men interact. 

And during those moments I think to myself: 

'How did I get to be so lucky?'

Love, Maria

currently

reading: The Lovers' Bedside Book. I found it at a thrift store yesterday and despite the odd, or slightly questionable title it's the most adorable book. It's from 1956 (I have a 1959 copy) and it's filled with the cutest and funniest illustrations by Raymond Peynet, who's work in the time was supposed to be a bit naughty. But for a jaded 21st century girl, it's just plain cute.

for a 1950's illustration this one is pretty up to date

the obscenity! :)

watching: Not much special, just waiting for all the good series to start up again. Did someone say 'Dexter'?

freaking out about: The awesome weather we're supposed to be getting this weekend. Sunny and 20 degrees Celsius (68 Fahrenheit) , Spring is finally showing her beautiful face. 

Frea. king. out. - in a good way!

loving about my kid: His friendliness towards others. He is so generous with his smiles and it just makes me so happy to see him make others happy. Love him!

playing when papa comes home

loving about my husband: His handsomeness :). And the fact that he loves coming home to Micha and me at the end of the day and starts playing with Micha straight away.

eating: Homemade hummus. So good, and so easy to make. I don't understand why I ever bought the store made stuff.

struggling with: Finding my passion, besides motherhood. I wish I was that kind of person that knew exactly what they wanted with their lives and worked towards it. There are so many things I would love to do: start up a baking business,  work on my photography skills, write a childrens' book with B., really learn how to sew. I just don't know where to start and I'm scared of failure. I really wish I could figure this out.

looking forward too: Seeing my parents in 6(!!) days, after not seeing them since Christmas. They live in Benin, Africa, and they're coming home for six weeks. I can't wait to spend time with them again and celebrate my moms birthday on April 24th. And, lucky me, they'll be here for my birthday on May 2nd, yay!

annoyed with: Our internet, which is horribly slow at the moment. We pay good money for it, so I'm frustrated it isn't working right.  Grr...

^ ^ ^ ^

So, what's up with you currently? 

Leave your link in the comments if you have a similar post, I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks for the blog post idea Colleen!

Love, Maria

Date Night and a sneaky baby

I'm almost ashamed to admit this but B. and I have only been on a date without baby once! since Micha arrived over 7 months ago. I know! Crazy, right?

That one time was on B.'s birthday, when Micha was 2 months old, 

and all we could do, while we raced through dinner, was wonder how our baby was doing.

Of course he was perfectly fine at our friends where we had brought him, and we ended up spending the rest of the evening at their house while he slept peacefully.

^ ^ ^ ^

One of the reasons we haven't had many date nights is because both of our parents (people we trust with him) don't live very close by. Mine live in Benin, Africa (yes, you heard that right, more about that here) and B.'s parents live about an hours drive from us, which isn't ideal for just a few hours of babysitting.

That's one reason.

Another reason is that we don't want to burden our friends (who we trust with him as well). They have a little one of their own, a week younger that Micha, and while they tell us it's perfectly fine to bring him over, it feels like we're taking advantage of their kindness. I know, it probably has more to do with our feelings than with theirs.

^ ^ ^ ^

But the I think the real reason is that we just can't let go of our baby. 

When I was pregnant, and even before, we swore that we wouldn't become those people , 

you know the ones that are super protective of their kids and won't let anyone near them.

Well, I think we kind of are.... womp, womp, womp.

We don't even take him to the church nursery on Sundays ( 'eww, the germs', 'what if they let him cry?', 'what if some other kid pops something in his mouth and he chokes?', 'he'll die there!')

While I think it's totally normal and okay to be protective of him, I don't want to be that couple that doesn't take time for each other since the baby arrived. It's not healthy at all!

^ ^ ^ ^

We need to practice in letting our baby go. We need start trusting others to take of our baby, like our friends or B.'s sister who would LOVE to watch him. And we need to trust that it will all be okay!

And that's exactly what we're going to do next week Friday! Me and the B. will be going on a date, I can't wait!

And this is what I will wear:

don't mind the random baby paraphernalia 

oops, should have sucked in the belly for this pic..

and now for the sneakiest baby photo bomb....

Love, Maria

linking up with:

and

dear abbyleigh

Love story - Chapter 3: Happily ever after

In celebration of Valentines Day this week, I though it would be fun to share our love story. I've split it up in three chapters. Chapter I, Chapter II and today Chapter III.

Chapter III : happily ever after

After years of chasing each other around the bush we finally were dating again in the summer I turned sixteen. We were young and in love and what we had together was very good.

And then during yet another summer, I had just turned 18 years old, I jeopardized this good thing we had going. 

^ ^ ^ ^

Ever since my family had moved from Canada to Holland when I was ten, I would once in a while spend a summer in Canada with my sisters family and my best friend, Lydia. 

I had finally saved up enough money to make another trip across the pond, and I could not wait to get on board that plane.

B. didn't have the money to come along, so I was going by myself and didn't really mind. We had been going out for quite a while now, and I was looking forward to doing something by myself for a change. I would spend the summer in Canada and he would spend his with his family camping in France. 

We promised to write each other letters, and phone each other at least once a week.

But as soon as the plane hit the tarmac in Toronto I was in another world, where there was no place for anyone or anything back at home. 

> I was going through an identity crisis at the time, and had no idea where I belonged. I didn't really like my life in Holland, apart from my boyfriend, and Canada was like 'the promised land' to me. Oh,  the complicated life of a 'Third Culture Kid' ! <

I had arranged to work as a counselor at a Christian Summer Camp for underprivileged kids and I couldn't wait. 

Being 'the girl from Europe' I got quite a bit of attention from the male counselors and because I had been dating since I was sixteen and awkward I hadn't realized that I had turned into a young woman that wasn't particularly ugly. 

I was pleasantly surprised and flattered by the attention I got, and 'forgot' the fact that I had a boyfriend at home.

In the next few weeks I got caught up in the attention and flirting from the Canadian boys and stopped calling and writing B. Whenever he called me, I would be distant and uninterested. 

I was confused, was I still in love with him, or did my flirting with others mean I should break up with him? 

And  he was equally confused and also hurt. He didn't understand why I was being so distant but kept calling  and sending me cards and emails, even though I didn't answer him back.

reading Seventeen magazine

^ ^ ^ ^

The summer came to an end, and I had to go back to Holland. I remember sitting on the plane wondering how I would tell B. about my confusion about us. And if there should even be an 'us' anymore. I was so nervous.

B. had come along with my parents to pick me up at the airport, and he was just as nervous. 

I walked through the gates and there he was, my boyfriend. And I knew straight away that I wasn't done with him. Things had changed over the summer, I had changed and made mistakes, but I had also matured.

^ ^ ^ ^

It took some time for us to get used to each other again, but we did and when we did our relationship was better, our bond tighter and our love stronger than what it had been before.

It was as if this summer of confusion was necessary for us to move from an adolescent relationship to a more mature one.  

But that doesn't take away the fact that I cringe every time I think about what I put B. through that summer. I hate that I hurt him and confused him, and I still feel so sorry about that.

^ ^ ^ ^

Two years later on a February night B. proposed to me and the following August we tied the knot.

We were both poor students and had no money, but what we wanted was a marriage, the wedding didn't matter! 

And still, our wedding was the most beautiful one I have ever experienced. It was small and simple, filled with love and with friends and family around us. My beautiful dress was sewn by my mom and the flowers were arranged by B.'s grandma. We had a barbecue in my parents back yard and danced under the stars until our feet were sore and the lawn was ruined.

wedding bbq

wedding fun

And since that day, through all the good times, but also through the hardships, our love has grown stronger and more beautiful than we could have ever it imagined it to be. 

I thank God everyday for my man!

^ ^ ^ ^

This is our love story so far, to be continued!

Love,  Maria

Missed the first two chapters? 

Here they are:

Chapter I

Chapter II

Love story - Chapter I: The beginning

In celebration of Valentines day tomorrow I thought it would be fun to share our love story.

It's pretty long so I'm splitting it up in three chapters. Chapter I today, II tomorrow and III on Friday

^ ^ ^ ^

Chapter I : The beginning

It was the summer of 1999, I had just turned fourteen and my family had moved from a small town to the big city.

Knowing nobody in the city, my sister and I happily accepted an invitation from the church youth group to hang out in a nearby park and get to know some kids our age.

me at fourteen

And that's when I saw him, a boy with beautiful blue eyes, dark hair, a really good tan and big but slender hands( yep, that's what I wrote in my diary that evening...). 

The boy I would eventually end up marrying.

He had a somewhat awkward and nerdy vibe but that didn't stop my fourteen year old, boy crazy, self to fall head-over-heels for him right then and there. 

By the end of the summer we had gone on a few dates and were calling each other 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'. 

happy and awkward

cute little kids


^ ^ ^ ^

And then school started again. 

We biked there together whenever we could. We held hands and stole kisses on benches in the park on our way to school, so adorably innocent. 

At school things were different, I had just made new friends and they did not approve of my geeky boyfriend. They would laugh at him and his 'fashion sense' (in their defense  he was still wearing clothes his mother picked out, so yeah, he wasn't voted best dressed ), and pressured me not to hang out with him.

And he was to shy to even speak to me at school. 

With all the peer pressure I finally caved and broke up with him, I told him that I found our relationship to much of a 'hello-goodbye' relationship, meaning that I thought we didn't spend enough time together. 

And just like that I broke his poor heart.

My mother-in-law still, to this day, talks about it and tells me how deeply hurt he was. And it makes me feel guilty all over again... typical...

^ ^ ^ ^

Years passed, in which I dated and kissed and obsessed over one boy after the other. But I always kept a soft spot for that dark haired, blue eyed boy.  

And he could not forget me either, he had some crushes and little flings in between, but he didn't date or kiss another girl in all of those years. 

Twice he even asked me to be his girlfriend again, after I had probably led him on, 

and twice I declined. 

I was evil.

^ ^ ^ ^

And then two years after that summer we had first met, I finally accepted that I was still in love with him. 

But was he still waiting?

^ ^ ^ ^

Stay tuned!Tomorrow Chapter II.

Love, Maria

This guy!

I am a lucky girl.

I married the best guy in the world.

We met when we were only 14 years old, married when we were 21 and became parents six years later.

We've been through fun times and also not so fun times, but we went through them together. Our bond has never been stronger than it is now.

young (tan) and in LOVE

tying the knot

love in the sky

last vacation with just the two of us

yay!

my husband, now a daddy!

my matching men

This guy! He truly is my best friend and I thank God every day for him!

B, I love you to bits!

Love, Maria

18 weeks

Oops, it's been a week since I last posted something. 't Was a busy week, this one!

18 weeks old, little man! It's been so much fun to see your personality come out more and more, you LOVE to make people laugh, you are definitely a social little guy!

Last weekend we spent a few days at your Opa and Oma's (grandparents on B.'s side of the fam) place to celebrate Sinterklaas with the whole gang. You loved getting all the attention and only had one (slightly major) breakdown! I was so proud of you for handling the busyness so well! 

Soaking in the love 

Playing with your very first Sinterklaas gift, a Sophie the Giraffe teether, on your Aunt Hanneke's lap

You're going to be so spoiled by your 5! aunties... (And that's not even counting the 6 on my side)

We love you, Micha boy!

Love, Mama

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Exactly a year ago today B. and I received the best news we could possibly wish for.

I was pregnant!

We had waited for this moment for so long, and now it was reality:

We were so excited for the journey that was awaiting us, that took me from here:

to here:

and ended with us holding this precious little bundle:

Wow, what a year!

So many changes. Good, good changes.

God has blessed us more than we could have ever dreamed of!

Love, Maria