Thank goodness he's cute!

I should be going to bed instead of writing this little post. 

Adam has been kicking my butt the last few days, and I'm pretty exhausted.

I don't know what it is, teeth (already?), gas, or just a fussy phase? 

Whatever it is, I'm over it! I can't wait for him to be over it too!

I know he will, I know thát much, as a second time mom. 

With Micha I would always panic if his mood changed, 

and I would be so scared he would stay fussy forever. 

But, luckily, every hard stage comes to an end eventually, 

that is, until the next one comes around the corner (haha, life with a baby is so much fun).

It is pretty hard though, to see the big picture when you're in the thick of sleepless nights, fussy days, and toddler tantrums and all the frustration that comes with that. 

Every now and then I just need to take a deep breath and remind myself that 'this too shall pass'.

And, lucky for him: he's cute! So we used one of his nap strikes to do a little photo shoot. 

(Can't stay frustrated with such a cutie for long, right?)

Love, Maria

refreshed

source

I never knew having an hour to myself would be so refreshing and so good for my soul.

Yesterday Micha spent the morning at a friends house, while I had the morning to myself.

I biked into town and strolled around, popping into stores and boutiques I normally don't go to when I have M. along. 

The weather was beautiful so I looked for a place with seats outside, to have a cup of tea. 

I found the perfect spot at the bookstore cafe and while I sat there in the sun, drinking my Jasmine tea and nibbling on a fresh croissant, I took a deep breath and felt a sense of peace wash over me.

While I adore being a mama, and love (almost) every minute I spend with my littlest man, 

I forgot how good it is to just be me, by myself,  for a bit.

For an hour I wasn't a mama passing out snacks or wiping a snotty nose, running after M. or telling him 'no, you can't get out of your stroller'. 

I wasn't doing laundry or unpacking the dishwasher.

I was just another lady, sitting in the sun, reading my magazine and drinking my tea. 

And it was good.

And while I headed back to pick up my little boy, I felt happy and excited to see him again.

I realized I don't need 'me' time to escape being his mama, 

but to be a more relaxed, happy and refreshed version of the mama who dropped him off in the morning.

I think I'll be doing this more often.

Love, Maria

brothers

Every once in a while, Micha will put down whatever he's playing with, walk up to me and place his hand or his head on my belly. 

Sometimes he just wants a cuddle from me, 

other times he looks up with a grin and says 'dikke buik' ('big belly' in Dutch, uh, thanks buddy), 

but lately he also pats my belly, cocks his head to one side and, with a sweet voice and a smile, says 'baby'. And I just melt into puddle. 

It's not just that he knows that there's a baby in my belly, 

but that he really seems to like the idea of that baby.

//

I know that once his little brother arrives things won't necessarily go smoothly, 

I'm actually certain that Micha will act out in some way, 

and I've heard the stories of others mama's who have had a hard time dealing with two boys so closely together. 

But those stories don't scare me and Micha will eventually get used to having a baby around.

I'm just so excited for Micha to become a big brother to this little boy that's growing inside me. 

I just know he'll be the best big brother there is and I have a feeling he's ready for the task.

Little baby boy is going to be one lucky little dude with a brother like Micha.

//

I'm so grateful I get to be their mama!

Love, Maria

'just' a stay at home mama

It's 10 a.m. and I'm still in my pajamas. 

I've just folded a monster load of laundry and emptied the dish washer.

Micha is down for his morning nap, although it seems like he doesn't really need them anymore.

I put him in bed anyways, where he naps a bit and plays and chats for the majority of hour he spends there. 

I think he likes the peace and quiet.

I make a cappuccino and cut a big slice of cake to eat as my second breakfast(what? it's a thing...), sometimes it's another bowl of cereal or a muffin, but today it's cake.

I hop behind my computer to catch up on reading blogs, write a post for my blog and if there's time I take a shower.

//

I imagine what others are doing, the people that hurriedly biked past my window this morning, while I was reading to Micha.

Are they in an important meeting, or teaching children how to spell?

Are they prepping for surgery or drinking their fourth cup of coffee of the day during a much needed break?

And while I think about their lives, I feel a little left out and maybe even a bit insignificant.

I'm not saving lives or having important meetings, I'm not teaching a classroom of kids, I'm not making lots of money to go on fun vacations or buy fancy clothes. I don't get a bonus or a 'thank you' for doing a great job or constructive feedback if I don't.

I'm 'just' a stay at home mama who will read yet another book because her toddler insists, wipes runny noses, does the laundry, makes sure there's enough food in the house, cooks the meals and does it all again the next day.

It seems so trivial and unimportant, and it frustrates me that it makes me feel that way.

'I can do more', 'I'm just as smart as you',' I went to college, you know', I want to tell people when all they see is a mama with a squirmy toddler.

And then I realize that I'm actually talking to myself.

I'm the one who sometimes sees being 'just' a stay at home mom as something less than having a 'real' job,

I'm the one who's judging myself, I'm the one who doesn't realize the importance of what I'm doing, here in my home, with my toddler.

So often I need to smack myself on the behind and tell myself that reading that bible story for the fifth time ís my important job, and that I'm not teaching a classroom, but one (and soon to be two) precious child(ren), and that that's enough for now. 

My 'thank you' is an unexpected cuddle from Micha or his sweet voice calling for me through the baby monitor. 

My bonus is a hug and a kiss from my husband at the end of the day. Or a fellow mama asking for my advice. 

What I am doing may seem trivial to some, but to my child, to my husband, to my God, it's the most important thing I could be doing in this season of my life.

There will be other seasons in which I might have a 'real' job and be more than just a stay at mom, but right now I'll spend my time at home, with my son, and I'll do it with joy and pride and with a grateful heart.

And with a slice of cake.

Love, Maria

An overwhelming, beautiful responsibility

The other day B. was putting up a shelf in our hallway after Micha had pulled it down.

Of course Micha, lover of all things noisy and technical, wanted to check things out for himself.

I plopped him down in his high chair in the hallway with a perfect view of the 'construction site', and he sat there perfectly content and so interested in what his papa was doing.

I watched as B. showed Micha all kinds of tools and even let him try some out, and I loved what I saw.

Right there in front of me was my husband teaching our son things he will someday learn to do by himself.

I already see it, Micha at eight building a tree fort with B. and my dad in my parents back yard, or him at sixteen fiddling around with his bike, or maybe when he's twenty-five building a home for his family.

// 

It's an overwhelming, but also such a beautiful realization that I get to be one of the lucky ones who will raise Micha and prepare him for life as an adult. 

I'm so thankful I don't have to depend solely on myself for this task but that I have an awesome husband to be my partner, a great big circle of family and friends for support and above all a God who will always make right the wrongs that I do.

I hope Micha will grow up to be confident and kind, generous, wise and loving to all.

And I pray he will know Gods love for him and love him back with all of his heart.

I can't wait to see all that is in store for my boy!

Love, Maria

baby in the corner

One night, during my pregnancy with a very active (keeping me awake with his kicking) baby, I declared to B.: 'This one is going to be a handful!' 

And I was right. 

From the moment he was born with a loud cry to this very day he has been so full of energy and has such a feisty personality, and while I love him to bits, he can be quite a handful sometimes.

//

To be clear, I wouldn't want him to be any other way. 

I love his big emotions and his cheeky demeanor and I know he'll do well in life because he knows what he wants. 

He is so outgoing and most of the time a happy and fun little boy to have around.

But with a character like his, it also means that disciplining him starts early.

And that, my friends, is pretty hard.

//

He loves to test his boundaries. 

When he knows he's doing something he's not supposed to be doing, he turns to me with a big grin on his face, and while saying 'no-no', he does it anyways. Yeah. 

If I say 'no' he just laughs and continues on being a rascal. 

He can throw the best tantrums I have seen yet and doesn't want to do anything he doesn't feel like doing. 

(Uh, buddy, mama needs to change your diaper and brush your teeth once in a while. Okay?)

So lately, if he's being naughty, and doesn't respond to my warnings I put him in his high chair in the corner. Sometimes he thinks it's the most hilarious thing ever, but lately he's starting to realize that it's not so great. Corners are boring.

//

But that's really all I have in the disciplining department so far, eek! 

I don't like to raise my voice to him and spanking is just not my thing.

I desperately need to do some more research on how to discipline a one-year-old. 

Any experienced mama's out there who want to tell me their tips and tricks? Feel free to share!

But, oh, how I love being this little bear's mama:

Love, Maria

On breastfeeding

In a few short weeks Micha will be a year old, and I will be celebrating my one year breastfeeding anniversary. 

Before Micha was born I planned on nursing him for at least a year.

I thought it would be so easy and natural and 'why don't all mothers do this?' 

And yes, almost a year later, I'm still nursing Micha, 

but I can't say it was easy and I totally get why other mama's choose to quit. 

^ ^ ^ ^

This is my recap of a year of breastfeeding my baby.

Day 1: 

Wow, this is going so well. 

He's latching on like a natural and it doesn't hurt at all. 

I knew it would be easy...

Day 2:  

*%#$!!!! Does he have teeth or something? 

Is it supposed to hurt this much?

This is kind of hard...

Week 3: 

He's doing really great, growing like a weed, but I feel like a milk machine. 

I have other talents too, you know...

Month: 2: 

I'm so proud of my body for providing nutrition for my little guy, 

but why is he so squirmy and distracted while he nurses, isn't he enjoying it?

Month 4: 

Being a nursing mama is being selfless. 

It's so hard sometimes, but so beautiful.

Month 7: 

I'm not sure how long I can still do this, I'm about to give up...

Month 8: 

Wait a minute, am I actually enjoying this?

Month 10: 

I am, I am enjoying this! Nursing finally isn't a struggle anymore!

Currently: 

Nursing Micha those three times a day are now my favorite moments with him. 

We sit together and I stroke his hair or sing him a song without him getting distracted. 

He twirls his hair or plays with my shirt. 

And instead of looking forward to weaning him, I'm actually dreading it.

I'm finally enjoying breastfeeding and I don't want it to stop anytime soon!

^ ^ ^ ^

Our breastfeeding journey has been one with ups and many downs. 

It wasn't as easy or peaceful as I imagined it to be.

But I'm so glad I've made it this far.

I'm so thankful for a supportive husband by my side who cheered me on and cheered me up when I thought I couldn't do it anymore.

If there's one breastfeeding tip I would want to share with a future mama it's this: 

Make sure you have support, whether it's your husband or best friend or mother. 

Get support, it will be so valuable. 

Any other breastfeeding mama's out there? How was/is your experience? 

Do share!

Love, Maria

My mama uniform

Before I became a mama I loved to stand in front of my closet every morning and try to figure out what to wear that day. 

I would take my sweet time trying on different outfits until I found the one I wanted to wear.

Nowadays I can't permit such a luxury. 

I need all the time I can in the morning to get my little guy fed, dressed, entertained and then down for his morning nap. 

And in between I need to feed, shower and dress myself as well.

^ ^ ^ ^

So I figured out a little something to make my life a bit easier in the morning and still look put together:

My mama uniform, or 'momiform'.

I know, it sounds so cheesy, and the first thing I think of when I hear that phrase is:
high-waisted mom jeans, a white baggy t-shirt and sensible shoes. 

I know that's what you're thinking too!

But it doesn't have to be like that at all.

^ ^ ^ ^

Mine usually consists of a pair of skinny jeans, 

a comfortable, yet fashionable, t-shirt, sweater or blouse, 

a cute necklace, 

and some fun sneakers, ballerina flats or wedges.

I always have a few different choices of these basics in my closet, 

so in the morning I just grab whatever's clean and BAM! I'm dressed for the day.

^ ^ ^ ^

Of course I still like dressing up in pretty dresses, maxi skirts and whatnot and I do regularly, 

but for a busy, baby filled day my mama uniform is such a life saver.

Do you have a 'momiform' or a go-to outfit?

Love, Maria

linking up with wiww and dress for the day today

A toy story (cheesy title, I know..)

Last week I had an epiphany.

I'll tell you what it was, but first a background story leading to said epiphany.

^ ^ ^ ^

When I was pregnant with Micha, B. and I swore up and down that our living room would not be taken over by baby paraphernalia and toys. 

We live in a small apartment and we like our living room to be as clear of clutter as it can be.

I had reserved two baskets in the living room for him, one for his books and one for his toys. 

And the toys that we would have would be wooden, aesthetically pleasing, quality toys. 

No plastic, battery needing, noise making junk. 

Yep, that was the plan. (can you tell where this story is heading?)

We had received some plastic toys as gifts, 

but we thought we'd teach Micha to love the wooden ones more. 

I know, we're crazy, hippie, cruel parents, us. Ha!

Then Micha came around, and guess which toys he preferred: the noisy, plastic, battery powered ones. 

Of course...

And as he grew older the more toys (wooden and plastic) we received and bought for him. 

The two baskets just weren't cutting it anymore.  

His toys and books were flowing over and our living room was looking cluttered and messy. 

Not that I mind it that much during the day. It's not like I clean up after Micha constantly. 

That would just be crazy.

But after the little guy goes to bed it's nice to be able to clean up the baby stuff 

and not see it until the next day. 

It just helps me relax a bit more.

So, the baskets weren't cutting it, and I needed something bigger and better to put his toys in. 

I didn't feel like spending a ton of money on a big toy chest and additionally sacrificing precious floor space.

And then I remembered something I had seen on one of my favorite blogs, Young House Love, 

they had used their ottoman to store all the toys. 

And it hit me; we have an ottoman that can be used as storage too! 

^ ^ ^ ^

And so their epiphany had become mine. 

It's been such a perfect solution for the clutter problem, 

it stores all of Micha's toys, it doesn't take up any extra space and Micha seems to love it too:

Now, how to keep the ottoman organized?

Haha...

Happy Weekend!

Love, Maria

a little bit of grace

I want to share some grace with you today. Because I know we all need it sometimes.

I don't know about you, but quite often I feel guilty for not spending more time reading the bible or praying, or just taking a minute to have some quiet time with God. 

I know I need to do it more often, but somehow, during my busy, baby-filled day, I just forget. 

And if I do remember it's usually a quick verse and a short prayer, and then it's back to doing dishes or laundry or blogging.

My life has become a lot busier than it was and when I have some alone time praying and reading the bible aren't the first things that comes to mind.

And I feel guilty about that.

But then I read this sentence in a post on Jami's blog: 

(go read her blog, she's such a genuine and godly woman, and one with a sense of humor too)

"there will be other seasons in life i'll get to study more deeply, but now is not that time."

There is just so much grace in this sentence, and I needed to read it. 

Not to ease my conscience, but to remind me that in this season of life there might be other priorities than studying the bible in-depth. 

And it's okay. 

Of course I want to live focused on God and quite frankly I need to, to be a good mama for Micha. 

But I need to give myself some grace too, and not beat myself up for not reading enough or praying enough.

Because right now my God-given priority in life is being a mama, with all the busyness and exhaustion (and all the fun stuff, of course..)  it brings. 

There will be other seasons...

Happy weekend!

Love, Maria

On Cloth Diapering

As I have mentioned before on the blog we're cloth diapering Micha.

(I don't have any links for you because I can't find the posts that I wrote on cloth diapering) 

We're big fans of them and I thought I'd share my experience so far with them.

^ ^ ^ ^

- We started with cloth diapering when Micha was about three months old. 

His little bum was to small for them before that, and I thought I had enough on my plate in regards to all the new things I was experiencing.

I'm so glad we chose to do it like this, because when we finally started I was super pumped and had enough energy to really make it work. 

^ ^ ^ ^

- We use secondhand BumGenius 4.0, with velcro closures, and new Flip diapers with snap closures.

I prefer using the Flip diapers, because of the snaps and because it's not a pocket diaper like the BumGenius, that needs changing of the whole diaper every time baby so much as pees.

The Flip has fleece lined inserts that just sit inside the waterproof cover and therefore the whole diaper only needs changing if the cover gets dirty or wet.
But usually the insert absorbs all the pee and the cover is still perfectly clean. 

This way I usually only need about two cover changes a day(whenever there's a poop in it) and all the other times I just change the insert. 

This makes cloth diapering with Flip diapers cheaper than with BumGenius diapers. I need less of the expensive covers and the inserts for the flip aren't that expensive. 

If I'd go all BumGenius, I would need more diapers, and that would make it a bigger investment.

^ ^ ^ ^

- For nights and weekends away we use disposable diapers.
 I don't feel like changing M's diaper in the middle of the night, which would be necessary with cloth diapers because they are a bit less absorbent the disposables.
And when we're a weekend away I don't want to stress out about taking all the necessities I need for cloth diapering, like wet bags and special detergent etc.

^ ^ ^ ^

- It doesn't seem like I'm doing more laundry because of cloth diapering. 

I'm doing a lot more than before baby anyway, so an extra load of laundry every three days isn't a biggie.

^ ^ ^ ^

- Speaking of washing the diapers, this is how I do it:

*I wash them every three to four days(depending on how fast they go)

 *Before I put them in the diaper pail I make sure there's no solid bits (sorry TMI) on them anymore. 

I just shake out the soiled diapers above the toilet and flush the stinky's down. (so much better than a smelly diaper in the garbage pail)

* I put them in the washer and put them on a rinsing cylcle.

* Then I wash them in a cold cycle with a tiny little bit of special cloth diaper detergent,

* then a warm cycle with some more detergent (again, only about a tbsp),

* then another rinse,

*and they're done!

This way they always come out smelling fresh and clean. 

Whenever I can I lay them out in the sun to dry, that way any lingering stains get sun bleached away.

...and some more reasons why I love cloth diapering:

- It's not that much more work than using disposables. 

I'm so happy that I don't have to haul smelly bags of diapers to the garbage area in our apartment building.

- It's so much better for the environment.

- It's much cheaper than disposables in the long run. 

Yes, it is an investment, but a really good one!

- Micha has never had diaper rash issues, and I'm positive it has to do with cloth diapering.

- I just love the look of his fluffy bum in his diapers. 

All in all, we're pretty happy with cloth diapering and I would recommend it to everyone!

Hope this was helpful! Let me know if you have any questions.

Love, Maria

42 weeks

Micha, last year around this time I was getting big and round with you in my belly. 

We were busy fixing up the room which would become your nursery. 

I remember standing in that room, 

crib ready, 

drawers full with tiny little clothes, 

toys waiting to be loved on, 

and looking down at my belly and wondering how life would be with you.

I thought I knew what it would be like, 

but baby boy, life with you in it exceeds all of our hopes and dreams and expectations.

Being your mama is so much more beautiful, fun, challenging, exciting, exhausting, gratifying, difficult and wonderful then I ever thought or imagined it to be.

I love you more than you will ever know!

Love, Mama

A day in my life

A lot of the bloggers I follow are participating in the 'Blog everyday in May' challenge. 

I'm not participating as the whole 'blogging-every-day' part seems a little overwhelming to me, 

but I thought it would be fun to join in a few times.

Yesterday (I think) the topic was what a day in our life looks like, and that is what I'm going to share with you today.

I'm recycling a guest post I did for 'The Domestic Wannabe'. 

Some of you may have read it already, but because I didn't post it on my blog at the time I thought I'd share it now for those of you who haven't.

^ ^ ^ ^

This is what a typical day in our life looks like:

6.00 a.m. 

I wake up and hear Micha yelling from his room and go get him.
I nurse him and we both fall asleep for a little bit.

6.50 a.m.

The alarm clock goes off, it's time to get out of bed.
Micha and I cuddle a bit in bed while B. hops in the shower and gets ready for a day in front of the classroom. 

7.15 a.m.

We head downstairs and have breakfast together.
Granola, yogurt and orange juice for the adults and a rice cracker, a pear and yogurt for Micha.
We're Baby-Led weaning him and he just loves it.
He loves being in charge of what goes in his mouth and I love that it's so easy,
no puréees or spoon feeding here!
We do help him eat his yogurt by filling his spoon, but he brings it to his mouth by himself,
and he's getting better and better at it!

8.00 a.m.

B. leaves for work and we stand at the window and wave while we watch him bike away.

I then plop Micha down on the living room rug with some toys.
While he plays I clean off the table, check my email and vacuum the living room and the kitchen.

9.00 am.

Micha goes down for his nap, usually I sing him a lullaby and lay him down and that's that, but today it takes a bit more effort. I turn on his music box and he falls asleep.

I take a shower, get dressed, and put on some make-up. Then I go downstairs, make some coffee, and while it's brewing I load the dishwasher and wash some bottles.

My coffee's ready, I take it to the living room and read some blogs and do some blogging of my own.

10.45 a.m.

Micha wakes up from his nap, happy and chatting. I love when that happens, there's nothing better than a baby greeting you with smiles after a nap. I dress him and then we head downstairs to eat some fruit.  Some more pear and a slice of avocado for Micha and a kiwi for me.

11.45 a.m. 

We put on our coats, I put Micha in his stroller and we head out to do some groceries. We go for a walk at least once day. The grocery store is about a fifteen minute walk from our apartment and we usually walk through a park with a petting zoo on the way back. Micha loves animals and gets all excited when he sees the goats and chickens. For some reason the animals are inside today, I don't know why, it's beautiful outside!

^ ^ ^ ^

12.50 p.m.

We're back from our walk, we have lunch together, Micha has a slice of bread with tahini and margarine on it and I make myself a tomato and avocado sandwich.

^ ^ ^ ^

1.30 p.m.

After lunch we play together and I read him some books.
Lately I let him pick which book he wants to read,
I give him two choices and he grabs the one he wants to read.
He definitely has a favorite: 'Oh no, George', by Chris Haughton.

2.00 p.m.

Micha is rubbing his eyes and is getting a bit fussy, so it's nap time again. He goes down a bit easier than this morning. While he naps I blog.

^ ^ ^ ^

3.30 p.m.

I hear Micha chatting through the baby monitor and find him playing with his stuffed monkey in his crib.
It's beautiful and sunny outside so I decide to take us out for a walk again.
We walk to another petting zoo close by, and here all the animals are outside, Micha is so excited!

4.30 p.m. 

We're home again. I put Micha in his walker while I start up dinner.
We're having Shepherds Pie tonight, one B.'s favorites.
For Micha I make a little meatball and steam some carrots and potatoes.

^ ^ ^ ^

5.15 p.m.

B. is home from work and plays with Micha while I finish cooking dinner.

6.00 p.m.

We eat together. We make an effort to eat together at the table every night. We really believe that it's such a good thing for our family, and we want Micha to grow up to see meal time as family time.

^ ^ ^ ^

6.45 p.m.

Micha goes in bath every evening, and tonight's no different.
After he's done splashing all of the water out of playing in the tub
I dry him off and put on his Pajama's and sleep sack.
We cuddle up on the pouf in his room where I read some books, pray with him and sing some lullabies.
I turn of the lights and nurse him.
When he's done I put him in bed, give him a kiss and sneak out of his room.

^ ^ ^ ^

7.00 p.m.

We hear some sleepy noises through the monitor, but he quickly falls asleep.

^ ^ ^ ^

7.30 p.m.

B. leaves for bible study, too bad it's not at our house this time because now I'm missing out.
I make myself some tea (I recently stopped drinking coffee in the evenings) and curl up on the couch to watch some episodes of 'Call the Midwife' on the laptop (such a great series!!).

^ ^ ^ ^

9.00 p.m.

B. comes home.  He has a beer and I have a little glass of wine and we chat about our day and watch some of our series on the laptop.

11.00 p.m.

We hear Micha crying, I nurse him back to sleep and put him back in his crib.
 B. and I are pretty exhausted so we both go to bed soon after.
Good night!

We'll do this whole thing over tomorrow!

^ ^ ^ ^

Exciting stuff huh? :)

Yesterday my blog friend Darlene posted her 'day in the life' and she ended by saying how grateful she is to be spending her days as a stay-at-home mama.
She is so right!
I feel so blessed and lucky to be home with my baby in this season of life.
I wouldn't want it any other way!

Love, Maria

Bitter Sweet Mother's Day

Yesterday was Mother's Day. 

My first Mother's Day as a mama. 

I got to sleep in, 

when I came downstairs there was a delicious breakfast waiting for me, 

and on my plate stood a card with the sweetest words written in it.

On the balcony was my present: a hanging strawberry plant, 

with little green fruits waiting to ripen into those sweet red berries I love so much.

At church we witnessed a baby being baptized, a sweet little girl, the youngest of six.

And I cuddled with my beautiful baby boy.

It was a day of blessings.

It was a beautiful day.

And yet...

something felt off. 

I just couldn't help but think of the girl I was the last few Mother's Days.

Yes, last year was a special one, I was almost a mama. 

My belly growing with a miraculous new life.

But the Mother's Day before that, and the ones before?

Those were so painful. 

I was a woman yearning to be a mama, 

and with every Mother's Day passing without a baby in my arms it got harder and harder.

Would I ever be able to celebrate Mother's Day as a mother?

Yesterday that dream came true. 

And it was beautiful, 

but also so bitter sweet.

There are so many women out there who will never see their dream of becoming a mother come true 

and my heart breaks for them.

I am the lucky one, undeserved.

Mother's Day will always be a day when I will remember that.


update: (because my mom is right, love her!) 
I feel so blessed, and I am so thankful to be Micha's mama.

Love, Maria

37 weeks

Oops. 

What I had feared would happen some day, did this morning.

While making your weekly photos you fell off the chair and bumped your head. 

You were not happy at all!

And I felt so guilty and such a bad mama.

In my defense, this is the first time you've fallen from a height. 

You've only fallen over from a sitting position before and that doesn't even faze you anymore.

I guess this is just the first of many falls and bumps you will experience in your life. 

You're a boy after all.

right before the tumble

Micha with a bump on his head, poor baby

^ ^ ^ ^

Micha, I won't be able to keep you safe from all harm but this I do promise: 

when you fall I will be there to pick you up,

when you cry I will be there to dry your tears,

when you are scared I will be there to comfort you,

when you face hardships I will be your prayer warrior,

As long as I'm living I will be there for you, 

because I love you.

...but you really need to stop climbing everything. :)

Love , Mama

For the soon-to-be or new mama...

I don't know about you other mama's out there, 

but I had quite a hard time getting used to my changed body after Micha was born. 

It was hard to see my body look so different from what it had looked like before I got pregnant, 

but my perspective has changed. 

While I still sometimes dislike what I see in the mirror I'm learning to embrace 

and love my body and the changes it's gone through. 

I probably shouldn't post such a compromising photo of myself online, but this is what you look like a few days after giving birth: big tata's, swollen belly and greasy unwashed hair :)

That is why I was struck by Katie's post in which she shared her insecurities about her changing body.

(She is 25 weeks pregnant and beautifully so and has the cutest blog, go check it out!)

 I know that there are other soon-to-be mama's and new mama's who are having issues with their changing or changed body too. 

^ ^ ^ ^

This letter is for you:

Dear soon-to-be or new mama,

Congratulations with your baby! What a huge blessing, even though it doesn't always feel that way ;) 

(swollen feet or sleepless nights anyone?)

Maybe you loved being pregnant, maybe you hated it. Maybe you felt beautiful in your pregnant body or you felt big and uncomfortable. But one thing is certain, your body has changed.

You probably first noticed something changing right at the beginning of your pregnancy, your breasts became sensitive and bigger, that last bit was kind of fun :)! 

And pretty soon after that you noticed your belly getting bigger and rounder. Maybe you even got a nice brown stripe from your belly button down to your you-know-what.

I loved my pregnant body and really enjoyed being pregnant, but once in a while I would look in the mirror and hardly recognize myself. 

I wondered if I would ever get back that flat stomach I had before and that made me feel selfish and ungrateful: Who was I to have these feelings? I should be happy to even be pregnant. 

Maybe you feel the same way too sometimes. It's okay and totally normal, 

and definitely not selfish or ungrateful.

After Micha was born, I was shocked to see how giving birth had affected my body.

My belly was still swollen and flabby. 

What? It doesn't pop right back after the baby's out? 

No, no it does not. 

It's a whole lot flatter now, but there's still some flab.

>Fun fact: my mom told me that she had brought her tight jeans to the hospital when she was in labor with my oldest brother, she really thought she'd be able to fit them. She had to send my dad home to pick up a pair of larger ones. I learned from that mistake, haha!<

My breasts were huge and engorged at first, 

but definitely not those sexy Dolly Parton boobs. 

They were just big and good for one thing: breastfeeding. 

And then they became small and saggy and had stretch marks all over.

My hair fell out in clumps when Micha was about 4 months, 

I seriously thought I was going bald. 

And now I have these fun little short new hairs sticking out of my head, 

making any hair-do impossible.

I felt so uncomfortable showing my body to my husband. 

I just didn't feel beautiful anymore. 

Even though he kept telling me how attractive and beautiful I was.

Maybe you recognize this, or maybe you fear this. You are not alone.

My body had changed and I needed to accept it. 

There was one thing that really helped me to do so. 

The realization what an awesome thing my body had done:   growing my sweet baby boy. 

I realized I needed to give myself and my body some grace and embrace the changes. 

Your body has carried your newborn for nine months. 

It has kept your baby safe and fed and alive. 

And once your baby's born, it keeps on doing just that. 

And it needed to change to do so.

So love your body, treat it with respect, feed it well and keep it fit.

If you're breastfeeding your baby, that will work miracles for losing your baby weight, that I promise you.

Go for nice long walks with your baby, good for baby, good for mama.

^ ^ ^ ^

And when you see those stretch marks, that flabby belly 

or short little new hairs sticking out of your head, just remember:

My body did an awesome thing!

And you will get your body back in due time. 

Changed? Yes.

But just as you!

Micha, 4 days old. I'd do it all over again!

And that cute little baby you're holding is quite a nice reward as well, amiright?

Love, Maria

linking up with Casey today