Thursday, September 5, 2013

letting go



Day 3 of Blogtember.

Today's prompt is:  Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.

source

 
I've always been pretty sensitive person with a high sense of empathy for others. 
I'm usually well aware of others and their feelings. 
I see that as a positive trait. It is something that adds to my personality and makes me who I am.
But sometimes that trait can be a burden and turn into something negative.

A few years ago I had a few counseling sessions with psychologist, 
I was going through a difficult time in my life, including our infertility struggles and I just needed someone professional to talk too. 
It was quite a step to seek help but I'm so glad I did, and would recommend it to anyone going through issues, small or big. *first piece of advice right there :) 

One of the most important things I learned about myself during our talks was that I tend to think for others. 
'He'll be disappointed in me' 
'They'll think I'm a failure because I didn't finish university' 
'She has so many friends, she doesn't need me'.  

Those were thoughts I had on a daily basis, and they were lies I was telling myself.
Lies to protect myself, excuses for not letting myself to be vulnerable, thoughts that were crippling me and holding me back.

The advice my counselor gave me was so simple. 
Whenever I found myself thinking for others I needed to turn the situation around and ask myself: 
'Would I be disappointed in someone if they were in my shoes?' 
'Would I think someone is a failure because they didn't finish university' 
'Would I say no to a friend?' 
And the answer would always be 'no'. 
And even if someone would react like I feared, that would be something out of my control. 
That would be their issue, not mine.

I realized that I needed to let go of  those crippling thoughts and just live my life unafraid of vulnerability and not letting the fear of rejection (because that was what is was) hold me back. 

Because life is to short to live in fear.


What piece of advice have you always remembered?


Love, Maria









7 comments:

  1. Great advice! I tend to do the same thing, and I never would have thought about it that way. One of our pastors phrased it as "are you listening to yourself [the negative things that we naturally think], or are you talking to yourself [countering those things with truth]" It's one of the things I ask myself fairly regularly :-)

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  2. I love how you approach fear! Your method is surely something I need to adopt in my own life. There are something that shouldn't matter, and somethings that are just out of our control.. Let those go, and keep rolling!

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    1. Yes! Thanks for your comment!

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  3. ach Maria, you are so lucky! I had the same problem, but I went to a psycologist when I was in my menopauze and then he taught me the same! (too bad that was late, but I guess you're never too old to learn!)
    But Maria, you know it now and never forget it!
    Lots of love, me.....

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UPDATE: I'M GOING TO BE USING WORD VERIFICATION FOR A BIT, THE SPAM WAS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL! SORRY!

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